I haven't swim in almost 6 months. First it was due to the 'stay at home' orders and then it was the 'millions of reasons' my mind comes up with to not practice self-care.
- I can't find my swim stuff
- I have to work
- I can't leave work at lunch because...
- I can't leave at 5:00 because...
- I waited too late to go
- I don't know what shape I am in
- I don't know if I can fit the suit I can find.
- I have to pick up the dogs
- I am too tired
- There is a storm coming in
- I can't get a reservation.
- .. the other reasons that add up to one million plus.
'I have to walk alone'
But there's a time to dance
Time to laugh
Time to cry
Time to go
Time to grieve
Time to come
Oh, I still got time to cope
Time to hope
Time to play
Time to grow
But for now I gotta walk alone
I gotta walk alone
There was only 1 person per lane today, it helped calm me down to know I would be in my own lane today. Two people just feels unsafe right now. I grabbed the last one, it has the stairs. Not a popular lane but for me it would do. I started to swim and everything felt out of sync. My back was sore, my shoulders were tight, my head was loud and it felt awkward but I continued to add laps and my body started to relax, my shoulders stopped being so tight, my back felt better , my brain quieted down. I had 45 minutes and didn't want to waste one so I kept up the lane and back down the lane. Long even strokes at a slow pace but feeling stronger and better as the seconds became minutes ticked by. The water healing my brain, my body with every lap.
I will practive the self-care I ask others to practice.
The river was so deep and the sky perfect blue
If we leave behind the dust in the sky
From the sound of Sirens the city will rise
Hold your hand in mine, we will swim against the tide
From the sound of Sirens love will survive
Risk it all if you ain't living you're surviving
Tell me why you tip your toes when you could dive in
If you want to listen to the music that was in to my head: